Monthly Archive: December 2021

Dream fragments: I meet a naked, wise yogi and there is resonance between us. I ask for a healing as something is off in my body. To my surprise he immediately takes me up a hillside acknowledging that we are in view of his large audience. He chisels away at a square space at the top of my head. He then wears clothing and looks human. He has people around him, lives another life. Then he appears as a furry, scruffy bear-dog. He wants to nuzzle so I pet him under his chin. We’re both content—in the moment. A horse was also in the dream reminding me of the cracked chest (sub-conscious?) with stuffed animals pouring out. Dreams are a creative way for the underworld and upperworld to speak to humans. Pay attention !!

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The fact that I could openly express my heart-body feelings in the previous blog is a testimony to the team work that’s been done in the field. I’m happy to see that I have no strings of attachment to outcomes. I’m just expressing Love that I feel. Quite a new experience of — pure Love. A “collision in space” side effect?

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12/5, Sunday

Less space, more matter is a new orbit

2 = one antennae — radiating, receiving in space

Flesh feeling needy as in two magnet attraction

(earlier in day thought about this feeling as inter-dependent rather than co-dependent or independent)

Image of chest cracked open and objects (like stuffed animals) pouring out (Heart of Sun Dance)

One Heart antennae

New relational space

Feelings feel human

I shut them down to — BE spiritual

Moving away from feelings too big for container

Is there a reason I use “feeling” rather than emotion? Is e-motion more energy and feeling more physical?

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Walking Meditation #4. “On both sides of you” reminded me of that squeezed “collision” space but without the noise that now feels orange. Colors have feeling? I saw recently that colors/chakras are associated with musical instruments.

Walking up a hill during the meditation I thought of “Fatty Patty” in childhood and how she dreaded hills. Today we bypassed old negative memories and walked together in new steps. Liberating.

Love, love, love this meditation that proves Truth is not redundant but evolves on a circular spiral.

Quantum Meditation landing — I saw that I was there one year ago. My head/brain moved through space as solid matter. I was grounded in space! Third Eye felt new lines connection with other parts of brain. A chamber of stillness in motion.

Yesterday (total solar eclipse) I informed family that I would not be at Christmas gatherings. Instead I am at my Full Moon Drum Circle 12/18 and fasting 12/25. It took effort to break this lifetime pattern. Yes, for the first time in my life I’m changing family tradition — like my dream where it took enormous effort to step on the brake and stop my vehicle before colliding.

It’s odd how my brain and mouth don’t work when I’m with family. I can’t talk clearly, succinctly. I short circuit and feel out of place. It’s different with my GOLOV community. I can line up heart to heart but connection requires grounding.

Sensation and images of a trapeze artist in space with no bar or handles to grab onto (no strings).

Image of squared lines (strings) reminding me of this page from Turtle’s Circle of Life after moving through the four directions, becoming an Elder and then grounding as Turtle Island.

Seeing flat (one dimension) disc with line or string through it. I’ve seen this image before as Solar System or galaxy. What is the line or string? It’s as if a Light beam busted through a debris field. The spiral includes many dimensions. Eye of beholder determines consciousness — the how and what we see.

The line (string) moving through the flat disc spoke to me about Earth connecting with another orb in deep space. She is grounding in and with new Galactic framework.

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The Collision in Space had a new sensation of “neediness” in that my emotional body kept reaching for someone I couldn’t find, somewhere I couldn’t ground. This surprised me. It definitely got my attention and must be something different than ego neediness.

Today in GOLOV I was a high flying kite with string attached and held by this solid Loved One. (Are all orbs held by strings (music) in an ocean of Love? Who is conscious of these strings and the holding? Creator—and conscious humans are just that.)

And then I felt this string as an umbilical cord running through base/root chakra. Spiritual, electromagnetic, chemical, hormonal, substances feeding me, activating me. Seems to be a new experience of Grounding. How does this relate to string Theory? It’s all new territory that we get to explore. And that turns me on — revs up my chakras!! From cold to hot and hot to cold. Alchemical adventures that are held in consciousness — by a string??

Integration and bonding increases after disintegration and separation. Is this not contraction and expansion? Is this not the creative process of breathing — exhaling the old and inhaling the new? Is this not dark and light energies dancing as one? This expansion in consciousness allows one to feel, to know, to be, the whole circle as it spirals through space. My ego body prefers not to experience tension, discomfort, pressure. It prefers joy and it’s associated body language. Consciousness wraps around ego and offers Truth as comfort. And so, today, in this Full Moon power I am more full-filled and round within and in partnership. As within, so without. Full moon gratitude for this expansion of Love.

12/2. Being knocked out of orbit held unexpected ripples that just now start to subside. Intense! At one point I was my mom in her dark depressed state. Maybe revolving around her electric shock treatment and maybe around her learning about dad’s affair with a neighbor. I release that pain. In this commotion I am aware there are a multitude of forces human and non-mhuman who want relationships to stay the same. It’s their territory. I feel I’ve been knocked around but still intact. Those Star Wars movies live on at the level of drama. I know this creative cycle will move the opposite direction with new insights. It could be crazy-making if I didn’t have Wings and Earth. It’s a sample of what unconscious humanity experiences.

12/3 That collision was torture. The pressurized space, the piercing squeezing noise around me, the grasping for ground that was not there. Not fun! I will continue to get physically fit if I’m to be a Space Warrior. This morning I think of it as a birth canal.

Yesterday in this vortex with its cross currents and cross firing I finally purchased the ISBN for my book. It was a challenge but Turtle and Turtle Island are moving forward. I’ve been thinking that the pressure chamber of what I went through Gaia also went through. I don’t know what that means logically. It’s a sensing.

Remembering: I had two similar dreams the night before this collision. I was in a truck and needed to apply the brakes to avoid hitting the car in front of me. I was semi-paralyzed and it was a struggle to stop the vehicle (brain, foot, ground not in synch) but I did. Twice I went through this intensity. Was I being prepared for the collision? This turmoil was as if all previous turmoils were rolled up into one. An accumulation that burst.

A quickening of orbital pattern, a shift. In that creative process explosives were set by toxic forces. However, I am unscathed and focused at a new degree. (Why “degree” ?)

The Law of Attraction field brings new information from new people and I learn about the creativity of December’s orbs. Another “power up” month!

Feeling restless in this expanding cycle of Love. I’m going to meditate!

Degree as “unit of angle” in geometry speaks to my visual right brain. My brain doesn’t wrap around the wordiness of other definitions. My brain must be circular !!

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