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Radiation Sickness (?)

Tuesday’s GOLOV meditation was profound as I realized the shapeshifting Being was Angel Michael—manifesting in front of me as tall as the ceiling. After the meditation I started to feel nauseous, very nauseous. It felt like I would throw up but didn’t. It was so intense that all I could do was crawl into bed and sleep. The next day, no symptoms. Today, no symptoms. This may sound preposterous but here goes: Did I get radiation sickness? Did this Being’s energetic presence have a physiological effect on my matter? The clue is the word “radar” that I spontaneously wrote during meditation trance. I am recording this in case something like this happens again.

In Service


Nice morning meditation learning about brain-heart coherence. To go there! To know it! To stay on that path of guiding Light.

A brother has “stage four pancreatic cancer with one year to live after chemotherapy.” I will tell him the truth about other options. The last time I did so with a gal-pal she rejected the information saying she was in a better space than before the cancer. Do some people get cancer to receive attention and love from family and friends? I have seen/heard people wear their disease like a badge of identity. Which is why I question the reason for all the names given diseases. Is it not all inflammation? Oh, that’s my brain seeing the whole rather than the parts. Names offer specific information. Thanks to my balanced brain response !!

Dream about attraction with a young man. We acknowledge the attraction and I tell him I am much too old for him. He wants to act on the attraction. I consider it in the dream. Waking up in this realm I know the difference between physical and spiritual intimacy. Humans have put the cart before the horse. I had a second dream about this man with the same plot. Is this a parallel reality or life? If so I can impart wisdom from this one. Oh, I remember: he found a girlfriend and we kept our connection/attraction at a different level. There are so many ways to be “in love” beyond the hormonal action based in root chakra. We get to choose intelligently!

I saw how I got caught up in her whirlwind energy and reacted in the energy drain. The next time I watched the whirlwind and disengaged thus diffusing it. I cut it off before it cut me off. My life has suddenly become much more social. A friend asked if I wanted to do healing for a man she had just met. “Why?” Is the question that came up. This “serving” is new territory and the ground is still mushy. I seek solid ground. Keeping my field balanced and protected is in the forefront—there’s that head light!

Healing Service

I am being inspired to do shamanic healing for a friend’s daughter who is depressed. I’ll use sage, drum and rattle. This “knowing” is so different than planning and trying to offer healing service. I keep listening. I welcome this new cycle of embodiment.

A New Day

Awoke in a clear/open field knowing instantaneously which meditation will begin the day: Global Coherence. Brain connecting and moving with fluidity. Impressed by the musical tones of Joe’s voice with its full range of e-motion. This music fills the sail moving forward.

21 days of “intermittent fasting” is a success even as we (body, mind, heart) made our own rules. 16 hours of fasting is not one of our goals. The many positive effects provide a foundation on which to continue. My diet has a new triangle with the broad base being vegetables rather than carbs. That was and is the goal.

Lion and the Lamb

6/15 GOLOV. Kite like—strung way out into space away from body. Lion comes into square frame with circle (reminding me of the dial detector)—he’s twirling his tail—comical. I see myself and Lion walking into the future. What is the significance of seeing behind matter as it moves into future? I am very small next to Lion. He starts to shape shift—into a man. “Lion and the Lamb” (have to look that up) He is wearing gold or is golden (not robes). Gladiator type. A book is given. Instructions. “The Word.” “…and it was good.” Creation story. Adam/Eve/Garden. Write a new book. Empty pages. Seeing from the back—from behind. AH-HA—Angel Michael is Lion now filling up my living room in front of my eyes!! Looks like the picture at Mt Shasta just posted as a memory on Facebook. As in the beginning now in closing: kite like with wind in sail, pushing forward. Makes me happy!

The Touch of Words

Woke up yesterday and “felt” like meditating. I checked in with my brain-body and the top of my head felt clear with no pressure in response. Clear sailing! Will see how it goes without any “shoulds”. I meditated again today.

Yesterday I consciously touched the arm of the 2 1/2 year old I nanny. It was a nourishing sensation. I am living in this physical realm in new ways! I surmise that my energy field is the cause of this new love for touch. How does “grounding” create this? Get that it has to do with radiation and response. I certainly can’t have that experience with her five-year-old brother. Our bonding is through different ways of touching: eye shine, laughter and words of “please” and “thank you.” We honor one another’s presence (I See You) through touch. Glad I can work with little ones so I can express love in this way. It would be ideal if parents had this quality of substance before birthing children.

I reacted emotionally to a woman on the phone. She is new in my life and we seemed to get long. As I’m getting to know her, however, I hear what’s going on under the surface and much is not resonating. Last night I told her that she sounded “judgmental.” The relationship takes a shift in that I see how she thinks she knows more than others. Is this her Life Coach entitlement? Not sure how much energy I’ll put into this relationship.

I am working on my own words, my speech. I want to breathe purity of Love through the spoken en word. This is a new focus. Words touch people!

De-Light

6/13. GOLOV Twin infants Ardani and Narek came into field of consciousness. In stillness I was moved to (meaning this was not a mental choice), I was guided to touch baby hands and feet. It’s a “real” sensation flesh to flesh. How is this for a shift in reality? Ardani felt heavier and I sensed a hole at heart. I focused energy there through right hand. I held both of them on my arms radiating into spines. Sensed a connecting tube between them and I reinforced that energetically, charging as in electricity. I encircled both of them in Love.

Earlier in the day and in meditation I found myself rubbing my bare feet together. It was soothing, relaxing and not something this body has done. And at some point in the meditation I was rubbing my hands together. It’s a new sensual sensation. Is this grounding? Am I like those infants learning about my new body? Is this body becoming conscious of itself? During meditation I was “told” to go outside in the rain and walk barefoot (slugs and a pair of yellow American Goldfinch greeted me)! Definitely new sensuality and amazingly I want to exercise more!

At the end of GOLOV I experienced connection at a new level that was filled full like a sail filled with wind (Spirit). As I felt this billowing sail I saw it as that Scarab in a bubble floating away. The circular bubble is a sail with two parts, two wings, moving as One into the future. This brought up waves of delight and I found myself so happy that I had to exit the scene for awhile since others were not in this emotional state. That emotion was quite unexpected—new!!

Grounding

Grounding is a mystery to me. How does it work? I need grounding on/in Earth to function in a balanced way. Relationships on Earth and with our Star neighbors need grounding to balance Galactic well-being. It’s as if an entire system needs to ground. What does this look like? I have to experience it to know it.

I have a friend who is oriented toward conspiracy theories. She breathes this line of thinking by taking them in and releasing them. She knows I don’t want to hear it so our conversations don’t go there. We are friends (to a certain extent) and that works for us. Our “grounding” is limited. Is grounding about “agreement” or oneness?

I was gifted a second ivy vine staff (by this Druid of old) and see it as a grounding rod. I am trying to sign up for Sandra’s Healing with Spiritual Light course. A “verification code” doesn’t arrive—yet. I want to do this dance as there are many partners waiting in the wings. I want to (emotion) and will set (motion) this into e-motion. Yes, I will “ground” this shamanic dance. Why? It’s the direction I’m being steered!

Lust for Life ~ Sacred, Winged Scarab

6/12. GOLOV Body likes to respond to the meditation music. Does movement keep CSF balanced? I don’t “tip over” when moving, dancing. Shoulders back, spine erect, sitting on root is like an upside down triangle. 🔻 This grounding is Serpentine.

Meditating / Joining as two is an expansion of “your holy name.” (Song lyrics)

Joy wants to move this body out of sitting meditation and into this day. Its shifting of frequencies holds the “pattern.” I ask about pattern and get “Love is the pattern”—Light on Earth, Light through flesh.

Song from Sunday School came up into consciousness. This song enchanted me because Jesus was my first “boyfriend,” my first heart throb.

In The Garden “And he walks with me, And he talks with me, And he tells me, I am his own, And the Love we share, As we tarry there, None other has ever known.” (Reminds me now of the Creation Story with Adam and Eve in the Garden with Serpent.)

Eros and mud bath—pouring down back and spine. Cool of wires. Eros and biting neck. Fire of wires. Serpent embodied. Lust for Life! Lust for being alive!

Had a dream before meditation about a large brown/orange beetle bug. I feel it’s weight as someone nearby sees it. I pick it up with a short stick and carry it carefully to an open window. It now has a bubble around it. Again and again I pick up the beetle and approach the window to release it. Again and again my ability/timing is off. Then someone assists by holding the window open as I carefully approach it and with balanced focus put the bug through the window frame for release. I watch it sail away intact in its bubble. “Through the window frame” was the goal to success. I had to get through this veil. Reminds me of the latitudinal and longitudinal lines that come into play on Earth. A “lining up” is essential and now occurring.

This Beetle was honored in ancient times.

What does the winged scarab mean? This kind of beetle was highly symbolic to ancient Egyptians, it represented rebirth and renewal. They believed that the sun was pushed across the sky every day by a giant scarab, the god Khepri.

The Sacred Winged Scarab is now released “across the sky” intact with its past, present, future Truth.

Healing

6/9 GOLOV I didn’t take notes. My spine wanted to dance and be still more than write. At the end of session two the infant twins came in and I was guided to do shamanic healing with them. I don’t question, I flow and breathed into each one of their little mouths. I used my right hand to generate Love-Light to their physical systems imaging them clear, intact, and working. I worked this energy as I Am Bliss sang forth. I do as guided and let go. I ask for healing and let go.

I texted with a niece for two hours last night. She is stuck and still stuck this morning—like a broken record with the blame game. Healing seems to be opening in my life. I feel like a new person as I heal myself from old patterns with food. Yahoo!! Getting clean and having fun!!